And the racism. The Untranslatables: Plastic Cups edition, volume fin

黑人為什麽喜歡吃白巧克力？

答案：怕咬到手指頭

Believe me, there’s no typo on my end.

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Why is this edition: fin? Well, a long time ago I had to stop reading Language Log because it turned into Mark Liberman posting every day, “OMG! Did you see this totally unimportant thing in the newspaper where the word order made a funny?” or “OMG, Dinosaur comics did this thing with the language and omg!” That kind of stuff seemed to leak onto other writers (in addition to dominating the site) and it put me in such a bad mood that I cut it out of my diet.

So, to avoid doing stuff I don’t like, we go out today with a bang. And believe me, you’ll want that after reading this doozy, (assuming you’re still alive after racist McTypo above:

綠豆是哪裡人？

嘉義人。。。因為綠豆加薏仁

If you are fighting back the desire to jump off a building after reading that, I’m sorry. I really am.

The Untranslatables: Plastic Cups edition, volume 2

男賓止步 （猜一字）?

A: 嫗

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Luckily, I brought a portable crash cart with me.

Crisis on Infinite Earths, Clash of Civilizations

美臀: Fine ass

http://twimg.edgesuite.net//images/twapple/640pix/20120609/BN05/BN05_005.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubgx8WH84jw

Some say the best part of cultural differences is the food, but I’m pretty sure it’s the sexism.

The Untranslatables: Plastic Cups edition

第十一本書 （猜一句成語）？

答案：BOOK 11 (不可思議）

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Absolute zero cold. Every time I run across one of these my heart literally stops dead in its tracks from the body blow that are these “jokes.”

I’m not quite decided on why they’re untranslatable. Is it because they’re so bad that translating them poses a health risk to the reader? To the translator? Is it possible that in translating them they would dissolve into nothing? Something like this,

English: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To get to the other side.

中：

 

 

or

中： 為...雞為... ... 靠.

啥

算了。

The closest I can think of is this, where the really great jokes start at 4:15.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyc8j-LxzLU

“Four-hundred and eight over rice.”

In the clip we do get a kids “Superman” joke, which is close to some of the stuff that slays me, and I’ll certainly get it up here if my heart is able to restart itself after reading it next time.

I remember reading some “joke” books when I was a kid where all the “jokes” would be these one line puns that almost tried to NOT be funny. I remember thinking, “that’s not a joke, that’s just two things that rhyme. Why is this in a book? This isn’t anything!” I was about 10.