2012年8月8日 星期三

想想台灣 Thinking Taiwan

蔡英文 – Tsai Ing-wen (Cài Yīngwén)

原文: http://www.thinkingtaiwan.com/public/welcome/site_info

With the presidential race over, many have asked what I plan to do next. For them I always have but one answer: think hard about Taiwan. Most respond to this with more than a little curiosity and skepticism. What exactly, they ask, is thinking hard about Taiwan?

Walking along the street one day, I saw a young motorist stopped at a red light reach down from their motorcycle, pick up an empty plastic bottle and put it in a nearby trash can, all done without a second thought. The whole incident couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, but I was completely moved. Rest assured, this wasn’t the first time they had done something like this. It was clearly the type of action they had built into their life. And it’s the little things like this, added up, that make Taiwan just a little bit more pleasant. That person probably wasn’t thinking about very much when they picked up that bottle, but from my point of view, they were doing precisely what I call thinking about Taiwan.

Another time, I was watching television and saw a young sports fan that went around to events in full Techno Prince Nezha (電音三太子)gear with a Taiwanese flag draped across his back to show his support. He wanted to remind everyone that there’s wonderful country they might not know about called The Republic of China, which they may know as Taiwan. Some might say this type of thing can’t really compete with an official government campaign, but if you ask me, that young fan was thinking about Taiwan.

I’m also acquainted with a few seniors who, despite being retired, are still interested in doing something for their country. They’ve taken up as their cause some less privileged students who leave school every day without any family to walk with them, arriving at a home without so much as a desk they can use for their homework. These seniors work hard to find the resources and people that could make a difference in the lives of these children as they grow up. All across the far-flung and remote areas of Taiwan they’ve set up after-school centers to give these kids a place to go; a place where they’ll see that since this country hasn’t given up on them, they aren’t allowed to give up on themselves either.

These dedicated seniors are what I mean by thinking about Taiwan.

Speaking from experience, thinking about Taiwan actually feels great. Our politics, however, full of distractions on one side and a sense of helplessness on the other, has mutated this simple act into something dark and needlessly complex. Thinking implies more than a yearning. Thinking about Taiwan means putting our country at the front and center of your mind. With Taiwan on your mind you can begin to consider and tackle our country’s most pressing needs. And this thinking needs to be covering not only the broadest scope, but also exploring the depths of our problems as thoroughly as possible. In the past, we believed the government would always find a way to help us with this thinking, but in recent years we’ve seen with our own eyes that this faith was perhaps ill-founded.

If no one will come to help us think, we must begin to think for ourselves. We must roll up our sleeves and come to our own conclusions. This is what I call thinking about Taiwan.

It is a mystery to no one that Taiwan is a country with no shortage of problems. Domestically, the issues deserving of our immediate attention are myriad. With our present set of economic troubles, our top priority is discovering what new models will fuel our future development. At the same time, we must never shirk our duty to ensure our equal and just society co-exists alongside this growth, without getting in its way.

Our democratic framework is too not without its flaws. The never-ending partisan rivalry has created a situation whereby consensus-based solutions are never arrived at. To make matters worse, the final, unprejudiced arbitrator of our government, the judicial system, similarly fails in their goal of inspiring public confidence. Our democracy is like a jigsaw puzzle missing a crucial piece. People talk past each other, holding fast only to their own beliefs. The result is that our communal sense of trust deteriorates just a little more each and every day. If we continue along this path, it will surely be the end of us.

In the future, our relationship with China is obviously something we will also have to think hard about. Many have the distinct impression that China is a place full of unknowns. They also believe China believes in nothing if not the rejection of our sovereignty. At the same time as we, with no illusions, see ourselves increasingly dependent on China, we must also think hard about our long-term strategy of dealing with China. To do this we must better understand China itself. We must free ourselves from the constraints of the narrow framework established in past discussions of Cross-Strait Relations. We must see the problem with fresh eyes and with new ideas informing our understanding. We must see how the rest of the world sees China and how China sees the rest of the world, including us. Finally, we must deepen our understanding of both the people and the government of China, while not neglecting the many businesses operating in China founded by our fellow citizens.

As a separate issue, we must think hard about Taiwan’s place in the world and how changes in the international community will come to affect Taiwan. From the European debt crisis and the 2008 financial crisis, to the American presidential election, China’s economic slowdown, a recession among the BRIC countries and the Arab Spring, these events all around the world have a unique meaning for Taiwan. It is our duty to think hard about what that meaning is.

And of course, we have our own social welfare issues to think hard about. Our social safety net as it stands now is incomplete. Those at the margins of our society lack the care and dignity they deserve. Looking forward, if our systems are not rigorously and carefully planned out, if we don’t determine the best policies and programs, our nation’s finances will be depleted without delivering services with a level of quality we can all stand behind. At the same time, we must learn how best to empower the greater society in this plan, harnessing our communities as an additional branch of government to work with us on issues such as health care, social services, employment and business within a united framework.

Last, but not least, we must think hard about our culture. What exactly do we create? What is it that makes Taiwan special?

When I tell people about the online forum I’ve started, I’m usually urged to think twice. I’m told that with information everywhere around us, no one’s looking to get flooded with even more information. Then people insist that things online have to be fun and relaxing, otherwise they face certain death. Believe me, this is nothing I haven’t heard before. And despite this, I’m optimistic. I’ve always believed that there’s a real yearning for rational discussion in Taiwan. I believe that between all the gossiping and joking around online there’s still plenty of space waiting to be found by us.

This space is for our thoughts. It is for our hopes and dreams. Thinking Taiwan isn’t just an online forum, I want it to become a movement: a movement built on welcoming, strong, serious and critical thinking.

To start a serious online discussion forum in this day and age may be naïve, but I’m willing to give it a try for my country. How long has it been since you’ve thought hard about Taiwan? Come on in and share your ideas. Let’s think about Taiwan together.

2012年6月10日 星期日

And the racism. The Untranslatables: Plastic Cups edition, volume fin

黑人為什麽喜歡吃白巧克力?

答案:怕咬到手指頭

Believe me, there’s no typo on my end.

--

Why is this edition: fin? Well, a long time ago I had to stop reading Language Log because it turned into Mark Liberman posting every day, “OMG! Did you see this totally unimportant thing in the newspaper where the word order made a funny?” or “OMG, Dinosaur comics did this thing with the language and omg!” That kind of stuff seemed to leak onto other writers (in addition to dominating the site) and it put me in such a bad mood that I cut it out of my diet.

So, to avoid doing stuff I don’t like, we go out today with a bang. And believe me, you’ll want that after reading this doozy, (assuming you’re still alive after racist McTypo above:

綠豆是哪裡人?

嘉義人。。。因為綠豆加薏仁

If you are fighting back the desire to jump off a building after reading that, I’m sorry. I really am.

2012年6月9日 星期六

The Untranslatables: Plastic Cups edition, volume 2

男賓止步 (猜一字)?

A: 嫗

--

 

--

Luckily, I brought a portable crash cart with me.

2012年6月8日 星期五

Crisis on Infinite Earths, Clash of Civilizations

美臀: Fine ass

stay classy, san diego

http://twimg.edgesuite.net//images/twapple/640pix/20120609/BN05/BN05_005.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubgx8WH84jw

Some say the best part of cultural differences is the food, but I’m pretty sure it’s the sexism.

2012年6月7日 星期四

The Untranslatables: Plastic Cups edition

第十一本書 (猜一句成語)?

答案:BOOK 11 (不可思議)

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Absolute zero cold. Every time I run across one of these my heart literally stops dead in its tracks from the body blow that are these “jokes.”

I’m not quite decided on why they’re untranslatable. Is it because they’re so bad that translating them poses a health risk to the reader? To the translator? Is it possible that in translating them they would dissolve into nothing? Something like this,

English: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To get to the other side.

中:

 

 

or

中: 為...雞為... ... 靠.

啥

算了。

The closest I can think of is this, where the really great jokes start at 4:15.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyc8j-LxzLU

“Four-hundred and eight over rice.”

In the clip we do get a kids “Superman” joke, which is close to some of the stuff that slays me, and I’ll certainly get it up here if my heart is able to restart itself after reading it next time.

I remember reading some “joke” books when I was a kid where all the “jokes” would be these one line puns that almost tried to NOT be funny. I remember thinking, “that’s not a joke, that’s just two things that rhyme. Why is this in a book? This isn’t anything!” I was about 10.

2012年5月29日 星期二

洋

公安部要清掃洋垃圾:抓洋流氓,保護無知少女,五道口和三裡屯是重災區;斬首洋蛇頭,美歐失業者來中國圈錢,販賣人口,妖言惑眾鼓勵移民;識別洋間諜,找個中國女人同居,職業是搜集情報,以遊客為名義為日本韓國和美歐測繪地圖,完善GPS;趕走洋潑婦,關閉半島電視台駐京辦,讓妖魔化中國的閉嘴滾蛋。

- 楊銳

(5, by the way.)

Translation:

洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋:洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋;洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋;洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋,洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋洋。

(5, by the way.)

For those not a fan of the magnificent 楊銳 translation machine, here’s a less literal translation:

Fucking “foreigners,” fucking “foreigners,” fucking “foreigners,” something offensive about women, fucking “foreigners,” fucking “foreigners,” GPS, fucking “foreigners,” another offensive thing about women, fucking “foreigners” and fucking “foreigners.”

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When they finally do come for you it will be with a suit and a tie, not a gun and a uniform.

2012年5月21日 星期一

Properly translating the important parts of politics

很奇怪耶你!

1.What the fuck!

2. What’s wrong with you?

3. You’ve got to be kidding me.

4. You’re unbelievable.